Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
This is the prime rib incident all over again
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
