I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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