Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
