I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
