Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
