Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
