I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
