:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
