i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We smell like vodka and hangover
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