In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
