she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
