Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
