I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
