Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
