pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
