just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am one with the molecules
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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