A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
