i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
