clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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