You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
