Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
