I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
