One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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