i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
