Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
