If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize