he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He passed out mid-signature
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
