he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
