dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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