i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
