Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize