Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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