Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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