If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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