I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
