is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize