I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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