You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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