i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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