He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
