I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
do nipples grow back?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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