My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
