Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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