Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do vagina's smell?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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