she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
