so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
