i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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