God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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