i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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