I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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