I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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