Cold hands, warm shart.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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