I wannas sexs uuuuu
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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