She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
How naked do you want me to be?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
