Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
