In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
