You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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